remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
