i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
