I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
