She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
