i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He has the fingertips of a God
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
