i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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