He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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