Where did you get a picture of my penis
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
