I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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