just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
