Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
