Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
