Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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