im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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