I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
