the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
