I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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