if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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