We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
