Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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