Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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