But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
