does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
