I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
