I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
