Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
