If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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