member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
