It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
