just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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