if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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