Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
