Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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