I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
