please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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