Where is the hickey?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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