I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
