I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
