Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
