Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
