I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
