we have officially lost it.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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