This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
