He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
