A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
