Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
my poor anus
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
