can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
