Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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