I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
