I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
